


Whole-Life Lovers, Not Life-Long Friends

by SilverMyfanwy



Series: One Spiderkid and his Clan [11]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Asexual Bruce Banner, Asexual Character, Avengers Family, Bisexual Bucky Barnes, Bisexual Character, Bisexual Peter Parker, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Bisexual Tony Stark, Captain America's PSAs, Domestic Avengers, Filming, High School, Historical Inaccuracy, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Wanda Maximoff, M/M, Pansexual Character, Pansexual Clint Barton, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Steve Rogers, Queer History, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Trans Female Character, Trans Natasha Romanov, by a character, gays for the win, in an umbrella sense, not me, they're very gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-04
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2020-10-29 19:53:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20802056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverMyfanwy/pseuds/SilverMyfanwy
Summary: “Barnes! Rogers! You need to come with me to Peter’s school.”“Why?”“His history teacher gave him detention for saying that you two were together, not life-long friends, and you need to go and prove that he’s right. And maybe bring your marriage certificate.”





	1. Whole-Life Lovers, Not Life-Long Friends

**Author's Note:**

  * For [unfittingpuzzlepieces](https://archiveofourown.org/users/unfittingpuzzlepieces/gifts).

> I'm silvermyfanwy on Tumblr!

Peter walked into the dining room to find Pepper giving Wanda’s hair a trim.

“Hey Peter! Did you have a good day at school?” Pepper asked.

“Nope.” Peter threw a piece of crumpled paper onto the table.

“Why? What happened?” Pepper put down the scissors and looked at her son anxiously.

“I got detention.” Peter muttered.

Wanda’s eyes went wide with the kind of glee only possessed by sisters when their brothers got into trouble and they didn't. “You got _detention_?”

Peter nodded.

“Peter got detention!” Wanda crowed.

“Why did you get detention?” Pepper demanded, hair trimming completely forgotten.

“I got in an argument with my history teacher.” Peter said. “He said that Steve and Bucky had been friends their whole lives and still were. I told him that they were not friends, they were together, and are now married. Then he told me to stop presenting a theory as legitimate fact and I told him that they are together but he told me to stop making them gay when they aren’t and then I got given detention.”

Pepper thought for a moment. “JARVIS, where’s Tony?”

-

“Which way is it?” Tony asked Peter as he strode down the corridor.

“Not that way, Dad.” Peter said. “It’s the other way.”

“Are you sure we’re going straight to see the history teacher?” Tony checked.

Peter nodded. “His office is down here.”

They reached the office and Tony knocked on the door. “Is this Mr Hudson’s office?”

“Yes, I’m Mr Hudson.” Mr Hudson shook hands with Tony. “You are…”

“Tony Stark; I’m Peter’s father. I’m here about a detention you gave my son yesterday.” Tony said, folding his arms.

“I did give your son detention yesterday for misbehaving in class, answering back and arguing against the textbook.”

“Can I see a copy of the textbook?” Tony asked.

The teacher looked slightly hesitant. “Alright.”

The teacher rummaged through his office for a bit and then found a copy. He handed it over to Tony.

“Which chapter is it?” Tony asked Peter.

“Chapter Seven.”

Tony opened the book and found the page he was looking for. “Best friends since childhood and inseparable on both schoolyard and battlefield, Steve Rogers and James “Bucky” Barnes fought together in the Howling Commandoes. Bucky was believed to have been killed after falling off a train in a mission in the Alps but was then found to have been captured by HYDRA- the Nazi science unit- and forced to become an assassin. He was discovered to be alive in 2013 and has since been reunited with lifelong friend Steve Rogers.”

Tony threw the book on the desk. “Whole-life lovers, not life-long friends.”

“I disagree.” the teacher began.

Tony gazed at the ceiling. “Peter, you go back to class. I need to make a visit.”

-

Tony knocked on the door of Steve and Bucky’s floor with all the anger of a father whose son has been treated unjustly.

“Is everything okay?” Steve yelled, footsteps coming towards the door.

Tony didn’t let him open the door before he started yelling. “Barnes! Rogers! You need to come with me to Peter’s school.”

“Why?” Steve looked rather concerned.

“His history teacher gave him detention for saying that you two were together, not life-long friends, and you need to go and prove that he’s right. And maybe bring your marriage certificate.”

-

“Hey, can we make an appointment to see Mr Hudson? We’d like to make some corrections to his curriculum.” Bucky told the receptionist, looking far calmer than Steve was.

(Steve was pacing up and down behind Bucky with a baseball cap pulled down low over his face.)

The receptionist gave him a skeptical look. “Why do you want to correct his curriculum?”

“Because we’re mentioned in the textbook and there are some things that need setting straight.” Bucky said. “Well, gay.” he amended.

“I’m sorry, could you please tell me who you are before I let you go and see Mr Hudson?”

Steve took a step forward and took his cap off, then cleared his throat. “I’m Captain Steve Rogers of the United States Army, ma’am, and this is my husband Sergeant James Barnes.”

The woman froze. “I am so sorry sirs, I’ll just get someone to come up and take you to go and see Mr Hudson right away.”

The woman began to talk into her walkie-talkie and Steve and Bucky took a step back.

“You love being able to say that, don’t you?” Bucky muttered to Steve, who nodded and took his hand.

A few moments later, a rather bewildered student walked up to reception. “Ma’am, you wanted me to…?”

“Yes. Please could you take Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes down to see Mr Hudson?”

“Sure.” the student still seemed a bit confused. “Are you Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes?”

They nodded.

“Okay. Please follow me, Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes.” the student said and started walking along one of the corridors. “Oh, do you know if Mr Hudson is expecting you?”

“We don’t know. “ Steve said.

“Is it true you live with Peter Parker?” the student asked.

“Yeah.”

“Mm.” the student seemed content and stopped in front of a classroom door. “Here we are.” they opened the door and stuck their head around the edge of it. “Mr Hudson? There are some people here to see you.”

“Send them in.” Steve and Bucky heard faintly.

They walked in and Mr Hudson froze.

“You wanna give him the certificate?” Bucky elbowed Steve.

“Yeah.” Steve pulled the piece of paper out and placed it on Mr Hudson’s desk.

Mr Hudson stared down at it.

“Please apologise to Peter Parker for wrongly giving him detention.” Steve said, using his Captain America voice. “And charge what you teach.” he took Bucky’s hand. “We’re together.”

“Oh.”

-

“So?” Steve, Bucky, Pepper, Wanda and Tony looked up as Peter walked into the common room after school.

“I go out of detention.” Peter said, smiling. “And he’s changed his lessons.”

Steve and Bucky fist-bumped.

“One small step for us, one huge step for queerdom.”


	2. The Video

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Steve and Bucky decide to set the record straight. (Well, queer.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on this comment on the last chapter from unfittingpuzzlepieces:  
Though I half expect Steve to make a PSA video next, which everyone disbelieved cause Steve and Bucky both look too pissed about being there (why are we doing this circus Steve? [Clint: Don't insult the circus! The circus has talent, this is just ridiculous. And so much better. ] This is dumb and unnecessary. - It should be unnecessary Buck! So that's what we're going to tell them! - Think of all the little queer kids you can set an example for Barnes - Shut up Stark)

“Steve, what are we doing here?” Bucky rubbed his eyes with his sleeve. “It’s 9 in the morning. It’s too early. And what’s with the camera?”

Bucky blinked a bit more and got a better look at the items in the room. “Camera? Lights? Is that a microphone thingy? What’s going on?”

“Costumes! Costumes! Coming through! Costumes!” Tony came walking into the meeting room that Steve had cleared and set up as a makeshift studio pushing a metal clothes trolley with costumes on hangers on it.

“I’m doing make-up!” Clint called out joyfully and came bounding in holding make-up palettes in one hand and brushes in the other. “Peter’s doing the cameras and Wanda’s going to do special effects.”

Bucky stared at Steve, bewildered. “What’s going on?”

“We’re making a PSA video.” Steve said simply.

A look of hopeful awe spread across Bucky’s face. “Are we making another Rapping with Cap video?”

“No.”

“Oh.”

“We’re telling everyone that we’re gay and married. Well, we’re both bi, and we’ll say that, we won’t say that we’re gay, but we are married, so.” Steve explained.

Bucky took a good look around. Peter was fiddling with a camera tripod, Wanda was eating a bowl of cornflakes in the corner, Clint was setting his make-up out on a table, Tony was arranging clothes, Natasha was reading something on her phone, Bruce was writing on a clapboard and Pepper was nowhere to be seen. Neither was Thor, but that was probably a good thing.

Tony pulled one of the clothes hangers off the rail and walked up to Bucky. “You need to put this on.”

Bucky took the hanger and looked at the clothes on it. There was a pair of striped leggings, a pink tutu and a crop top covered in black sequins. “Do you value your life that little?”

“You’re not up for the camp look then?” Tony asked, taking the hanger back. “I’ll find you something else.” he beat a hasty retreat.

“Why are we doing this circus, Steve?” Bucky demanded.

“Don’t insult the circus!” Clint yelled. “The circus has talent, this is just ridiculous. And so much better.”

“This is dumb and unnecessary.” Bucky said flatly.

“It should be unnecessary, Buck! And that’s what we’re going to tell them!” Steve waved his hands about for emphasis, a clear sign that he was already getting carried away and Bucky had not a hope of wiggling his way out of being involved.

“Think of all the little queer kids you can set an example for, Barnes!” Tony said.

“Shut up, Stark.” Bucky took a deep breath. “Steve, why are you really doing this?”

“Because I want textbooks all over the country to be corrected.” Steve said quietly. “And we can’t go to every school ourselves.”

“What do you want me to do?”

“You need to learn the script.” Steve said.

“_Script_? Seriously?”

“Don’t act like that, James, I wrote it.” Natasha walked over and handed him her phone. “And then Steve edited it.”

Bucky sighed and got to work.

-

Steve and Bucky were sitting on stools in front of the camera; Steve in his blues and looking important and Bucky wearing jeans and a t-shirt that said ‘Let me be perfectly queer’.

“In the last few days we’ve become aware that there are many textbooks that portray us to be friends. In a platonic relationship. That we have been friends our whole lives and _only_ friends.” Steve said.

“We’re not.” Bucky said flatly.

“We would like to clarify that though we have been friends since 1925, we have been together since 1934, and married for the past nine months. We’re both bisexual, but together we’re pretty gay.”

“This is the official conformation of our relationship.” Bucky said. “This shouldn’t be necessary, but it is. You guys clearly aren’t great at working out when people are in relationships. Please correct your textbooks.”

“In other news,” Steve said, a smile growing across his face as smoke began to float around their feet courtesy of Wanda, “now we’ve done our official coming out, there are some other people that have things they’d like to say.”

Tony walked in from the right. “I’m bi too.”

Peter, wearing his mask, lowered his head into shot from the top of the screen. “I’m bi as well!”

Natasha walked into the shot from the left. “I’m trans.”

Bruce came into shot from below. “I’m ace.”

Wanda floated in, glowing in rainbow colours. "I’m gay!”

"And I'm pansexual." Clint came into view.

“So in summary,” Bucky said, beaming from ear to ear, “we’re well queer.”

He leaned over and kissed Steve.

The screen went black and ‘A Film by Spiderman’ was written across the screen.

-

The video broke the internet and after Steve started a petition, it got added to the Rapping with Cap video list.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hi on tumblr! I'm silvermyfanwy.  
Still taking prompts!


	3. Reaction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For River_of-Dawn: Now I'm kinda curious about the reactions to this video. Like, I can see Ned flipping out because of this video and all the queer folks everywhere proudly posting quotes and pictures of the Avengers, AVEN exploding because 'a hero is ACE -- this is amACEing -- even better than cake', you know?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY IT'S TAKEN SO LONG  
And that it's short.  
I'll dedicate a better fic to you as an apology.

Twitter had to shut down.

Tumblr had to draft in extra staff.

Facebook just carried on as normal with heterosexual white supremacy (little did they know Natasha Romanova had decided it needed to stop existing and was soon going to succeed).

Ned was largely responsible for twitter having to shut down because of the amount of tweets he sent and then promptly sent his phone bill flying sky-high with the amount of calls he made to Peter before Peter finally answered.

“You’re bi!”

“You knew that already.” Peter said dryly. “I mean, I hope you did, given that you threw me a coming out party.”

“I mean, yeah, but Spiderman’s bi too! And so’s Captain America and Bucky Barnes and Hawkeye’s pansexual and the Hulk is ace and Black Widow’s trans and also she put a thing online saying she's demisexual and Iron Man’s bi and your sister’s gay and- woah, woah, woah. Hold up. If your sister’s gay, does that mean you never get to do the scary older brother act?”

“Why wouldn’t I get to do the scary older brother act just because my sister’s gay?” Peter was confused.

“Coz any girlfriend she has is gonna scare you.”

“That’s worryingly true.”

-

About 36,000 new Avengers appreciation blogs, Twitters, Instagrams and Tumblrs sprang up. Queer people all over the world posted photos of the Avengers with their quotes from the video, and other things they had said. Podcasts and news platforms went crazy and TV land found themselves on the race to be the first to get the Avengers interviewed on their shows.

Then there were the GSAs and pride clubs in schools all over the world who went _absolutely mad_. Suddenly, their role models were their role models even more. Pictures of the Avengers with well-known quotes could suddenly be found pasted in many, many classrooms in many, many countries.

AVEN was probably the happiest of all.

A hero- a hero that was a genius and could turn into an enormous green creature- was ace.

It was even better than cake or dragons, and that was truly saying something.

It was am-_ace_-ing.

**Author's Note:**

> Still taking prompts for Maybe This'll Be Something!


End file.
